Home > blogging, food, minimalism, minimalist, paleo, primal, rant, recipe > My #Nothing Smoothie Brings Errbody to the Yard.

My #Nothing Smoothie Brings Errbody to the Yard.

I’m not a smoothie kind of guy but my smoothie is way more #paleo #primal than ANY of the other smoothies out there. Through advanced scientific research I’ve removed the very un paleo layer of processing in typical smoothies. With that neolithic layer of processing removed we can advance some more science by letting your own body do the processing thereby infusing the food with #nadatology. This astounding breakthrough in #nadatology is being made available to EVERY PERSON for FREE. Here’s how you can get in on this next generation advanced offer:

1. Put what you want to eat in your mouth and chew it. In this case our research team used organic spring mix, gluten free fajita beef, diced pickled jalapenos, and some extra sharp cheddar.

2. Swallow

3. Wait for the scientific miracle of #nadatology to occur, 6-10 hours is the typical time it takes for the #nadatology to work its melonfarming wicked sorcery.

Here is the before:

I’ll post the after upon request, to get the best possible smoothie you really just need to let #nadatology do the work for you. Unnecessary straining isn’t suggested and can alter the output. You can’t rush good science, people.

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  1. May 21, 2011 at 11:32 am

    That’s AMAZING! This should be on Headline News!

    • May 21, 2011 at 11:33 am

      See what happens when the rapture comes around?

      • May 21, 2011 at 12:40 pm

        Ha!

  2. May 23, 2011 at 7:43 am

    Great post! I cannot wait to give this a try but first I have a few questions that maybe you can answer.

    #1 – I am told that I have a big mouth. Because of this, I feel I am getting too many calories. Do you recommend putting some ice cubes into my mouth when making my smoothie to provide some filler?

    #2 – If I were to get braces, would your smoothie process still be considered #paleo?

    • May 23, 2011 at 12:10 pm

      Your application of logic to deduce you need to add ice will negate any removal of #paleo brought on by the braces, I had the research team do the numbers on this.

      • May 24, 2011 at 7:01 am

        Sweet. Thanks for following up on that.

  3. May 24, 2011 at 9:58 am

    I’m just curious, if a person doesn’t have any teeth could they have a friend perform step #1 for them? I’m thinking this might still be Paleo, but not certain. Thank you.

    • May 24, 2011 at 10:30 am

      Of course, this approach is for sure paleo. The only issue I’ve been told about, by other cavemen, is that they would probably let you die rather than spend resources on you.

  4. May 31, 2011 at 10:43 pm

    I’ll continue to enjoy my smoothies. ;)

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