In The Cold Fall Nights

October 21, 2011 1 comment

In the cold fall nights we would gather. Rebellious lads. Out from the lights of the small town and the prying eyes who didn’t get us. On some dusty country road in a field we didn’t own, we’d open bottles of liquor that we brazenly purchased with hoarded lunch money. One of us would get wood for a fire, the other would adjust the tape deck in the car to a level that allowed conversation.

We would drink deeply and stare at the sky. Friends, of like mind, warmed by the booze, the burning fire, and the fire in our youthful hearts. Sometimes we’d step away from the glow of the fire and into the darkness just to cool off. Our group was small, usually just three. Those same three all on the same page but in different living journals. The “Triad” was how we referenced ourselves.

The music. The music filled the air as the smoke from the fire and the smoke from our cigarettes. Some records in particular we would play over and over. We knew all the words. We knew the sound of fingers sliding on the guitars. They never got old.

Those songs, even then, were important. Little did I know the depths to which I could be touched by a shoplifted cassette tape. Getting imprinted by those records remains a memory I think of often. My friends, one of which is gone from this earth, visit on repeat listens. Around those late night fires ghosts were made. The alchemic bond we forged in those fires with Jack Daniels, Camels, and teenage angst is still strong, even though I don’t remember certain voices or faces.

In those days the world revolved around us, hell, even the universe as we knew it. Our loves great and those unspoken from awkwardness propped us up and tore us down. We obviously held fast and survived. Most of us.

Years have passed and I’m certain the fire pits are overgrown and no traces remain. Those hallowed grounds still have glowing embers in my minds eye. I can see them in the rear view mirror as we head home.

My hair is getting white like the ash from those fires. The fire in my heart for those friends is still stoked and those songs, as they hit my ears, are new logs to fuel them. I’ve never seen a ghost but I’m sure we are electric and I wonder, at times, if that power leaves an etching in this record as it spins. Maybe in the future some other trio of punk hardlegs will stand in a stupor over our ancient sites of ceremony and proclaim their supremacy. We’ll look down, as I’m sure one is already, nodding in approval of our succession.

You know who you are.

Chronicles of Roo

October 21, 2011 1 comment

Call it what you will but over on the Book of Face I started updating my status with short paragraphs or sentences from my perceived point of view of how you see the world. I thought it wise to post them here before I can’t find them as people seem to like them. They primarily focus on glimpses from your point of view from a swing we put you in. Robot Swing.  They strike me randomly so this is how they will be presented here. I can see you are very intelligent but do not have a way to express it fully so these are really my attempts to give you a voice of sorts. Here are the first few.

“The cold robotic arms of the baby swing did little to comfort Roo. She found the lap of her father much more suitable. In fact, his beard was more epic from this angle.”

“Roo lay lucid in the monotonous clutches of the robot swing and pondered the power of the hot black drink her father imbibed. She could only grunt her frustration at why he would choose it over her.”

“Glaring up across the plastic bottle that her father offered, Roo knew it was but a mere substitute for her mother. Despite this treachery she fed. She needed to grow.”

“She’d had enough of the robot swing and it’s cold unforgiving motion. Only the warmth of her father and his epic beard would do. Roo looked up from his lap and saw the robot swing empty and swinging. She laughed at it and took care it did not hear.”

“The robot swing had a new manner of trickery. Instead of its usual side to side, today it rocked front to back. Roo wasn’t displeased by this but would be ready next time.”

“Once again Roo had escaped the cold clutches of the robot swing. It sat swinging with no occupant in the corner. Roo, in a ball, slept on her father’s chest. It was better here.”

“She had awakened in a strange place. No memory of the trip. It was bright in here and had many strangers. Some more strange than the furry four legged ones at home.
Mother led the hunt this time. Roo and her father stayed back. The frenzy too rough for one so young. Perhaps one day she would lead the hunt. Until then her focus would be learning.”


Categories: Uncategorized

October Horror Fest 2011

October 1, 2011 3 comments

Each year we usually watch a lot of horror movies in October. The last few I’ve tried to track them.

Rating system.
1’s These are work.
2’s I liked parts and pieces, such as effects or story. I’d suggest it to a genre fan.
3’s Complete packages here, well done all around. Genre fans will probably enjoy also. Strong likes.
4’s Probably becomes repeat viewer and purchase, gets suggested to others and defended if others hate it.
5’s Loved it. Definite buys, definite suggestions if asked. Not only a great horror movie but great movie in general. These stay with you and set the bars.

I love conventional effects, I’d rather see a string than CGI. No excuse for digital blood and my ratings will swing on that. In most cases a guy in a suit beats most animated beasts. Ghosts get a pass, mostly.

I’m not a huge fan of the torture pron direction the horror genre has taken recently. I understand the scary reality link but not many will get a 5 out of me. Cheesy slashers with the great effects are one of my favorite sub genres. Demeaning women loses points even if she comes back for revenge. I understand the shock value is important to some but it’s hard to watch at times.

My favorite stuff plays around in the creature features, teen slasher, paranormal areas. Zombies, vampires, etc are welcome. Sparkly vampires are not. A great ghost story goes a long way with me as do crazed cults. Many modern creature flicks show you everything and leave nothing to the imagination and lose points due to that.

I’m open to so many forms of “horror” and personally would include a film like Gremlins or even Red State in a “horror” list.

Here are the movies for 2011.

1. Shadow.  3 out of 5 Netflix Instant

Good twist in this one, Surviving The Game meets Hostel. Real creepy bad guy.

2. People Under The Stairs. 2 out of 5 Netflix Instant

This is my 3rd viewing of this since its release, still kind of meh on it. The brother and sister are arguably the best part.

3. Tucker and Dale vs Evil. 4 out of 5 HDNET Movies

Loved it, very fun, laid back spoof with a nice twist on perception. Wife liked it. Nothing too over the top. With the genre full of CGI garbage this was refreshing.

4. Night of the Creeps. 5 out of 5

Fred Dekker does it again, I love his stuff. It’s been a long time since I saw this so it was pretty fresh. Great throwbacks to the 50’s and a bit of Noir.

5. The Awakening. 1 out of 5 total piece of poop. Netflix Instant

Hipster youth die to crappy nu-metal at the hands of some ancient evil.

6. Intruder. 4 out of 5 Netflix Instant

Late 80’s slasher that I’d not seen before. Sam Raimi stars. The camera work stood out for me. On further reading I think I saw the edited version because there wasn’t any real gore to speak of just great tension.

7. Strangeland. 3 out of 5 Netflix Instant

Pretty decent flick, pretty decent badguy. Captain Howdy could use a prequel in my opinion.

8. John Carpenter’s The Ward. 5 out of 5 Vudu

Very well done movie. Probably one of the better ones I’ve seen in a while. John Carpenter is a master so little doubt was there. Got at least 2 squirms and 2 jumps out of us without entering torture pron territory. Loosely plays with Alice In Wonderland and doesn’t over do it.

9. Trick ‘r Treat. 5 out of 5 Netflix Instant

Second viewing and it gets better.  A series of connected events centered around Halloween. I cannot recommend it enough. It is to Halloween what A Christmas Story is to Christmas. Surely something for everyone in this movie. A huge bonus is the lack of CGI, it didn’t need any.

10. Child’s Play. 4out of 5 Netflix Instant

One of my all time faves, the killer doll has some great lines and the kid looks really scared. Lots of fun and creepy. Terrific fiery ending.

11. House on Skull Mountain. 2 out of 5 Netflix Instant

A slow atmospheric piece with hints of blacksploitation and Voodoo. Similar to Sugar Hill but no where near as good. This dish needed more cheese. I thought the audio was great. The chanting and hypnotic drums felt right for a voodoo flick.

12. Poltergeist 2. 4 out of 5 Netflix Instant

One of the stronger sequels to any franchise. I dig the Native American slant on this. Locally we have many Native sites that have been built over for urban development over the years. Some really great conventional effects in this movie and a really creepy old dude.

13. Frontier (s). 3 out of 5 Vudu

The lead actress in this one is the star. Some really great scenes but it feels like Hostel to me.  This puts it over into the torture pron area which I feel is taking over the “horror” genre. Never the less, a great flick with some stuff that will stick with you.

14. Incident on and Off a Mountain Road.  3 out of 5 Netflix Instant

Pretty good short story. Good blend of two themes. Girl gets taught how to survive by her jerk husband and then puts all the training to use on a freak in the woods.

15. The Guardian 5 out of 5 Netflix Instant

Being a new family this means a lot more now than it did when I saw it years back. They got the baby audio right, the new parent insecurities, and a tree that eats dudes. Really well done story that could be sold as a mystery or horror and it is rooted in just enough mystical stuff to not go crazy. Great conventional effects in this.

16. Deathwatch 3 out of 5 Netflix Instant

Gritty, dirty, and bleak. Mud, rain, rats, and bodies in the water. A little slow but worth the watch. For some reason it reminded me of those old Eerie Comics.

17. Graduation Day 1 outof 5 Netflix Instant

Normally I dig Troma stuff but this was bad. Best part would be the music and the non-augmented women. Nowhere near Class of Nuke ’em High in quality. At times it is very dramatic then decides to be a slasher flick. Mostly it was work to get through.

18. An American Werewolf in London. 5 out of 5 Netflix Instant

One of all time faves. Great blend of comedy and gore. I’ll never forget the first time I saw the transformation or when I got old enough to understand the zombie scene in the theater. It’s pretty much the standard by which werewolf movies are judged.

19. Hell Night. 1 out of 5 Netflix Instant

This confirms that Linda Blair’s best movie is the Exorcist. I will say the sets were interesting. The fact I’m into the sets also says that the rest sucked. Maybe I need to revisit this one another year?

20. Body Snatchers 3 out of 5 Netflix Instant

I love the original and most of its remakes, this is a 90’s version. Not so much horror in the traditional sense but the social aspect is scary. I see hive minds and they really scare me.


21. The Howling. 4 out of 5 Netflix Instant

Pretty decent werewolf flick. I was introduced to the sequels far before I saw the first so the marsupial mess ruined the franchise for me. The original is a nice and dark movie with pretty good monsters and a good story.

22. Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning. 3 out of 5 Netflix Instant

A bit slow but well made, I enjoyed the first one which I watched after this one, and this is recommended by fans. It’s sort of a “Last of the Mohicans” meets the Wolfman. There are way worse wolf flicks out there.

23. The Craft. 4 out of 5 Netflix Instant

Big fan of this. Nice slice of the 90’s. Even the wife will watch. The effects are mostly well done and as things come back to haunt the girls it gets really good playing with the high school tension and the “craft.”

24. Scream. 4 out of 5 Netflix Instant

I missed this back in the day. I never saw it or the ” I Know What You Did” movies. Glad I waited. This is a smart movie that cashes in on the history of horror which gives fans of the genre an extra bit to hold onto. Little hidden things make the watch all the better. One of the cooler ones this year.

25. Silver Bullet. 4 outof 5 AMC

I like this movie a lot. Gary Busey stars as himself along with Sam Emerson before he met the Frog Brothers. Anne of Green Gables narrates. How much better can a movie get? Add a werewolf priest and Stephen King.

26. Parents. 2 out of 5 Vudu

I like dark comedy. This is a dark comedy with not a lot of funny. It pokes holes in the gleaming suburbia we all see and reveals things that are very scary. Some deadpan acting from Quaid stands out and the feelings of the boy really come through and are shown expertly. It gets a 2 because it just doesn’t fit the genre for me.

27. Joshua. 3 out of 5 Vudu

I dug this slow burner. Hard to tell who is in charge but by the end it’s very clear. Evil kids owning their parents really hits home with a newborn in the house. They capture the stress of having a newborn quite nicely and they build out Joshua’s plan expertly. Sam Rockwell tries to go to war and it is funny. If you like evil kid films check it out.

28. Happy Birthday to Me. 4 out of 5 Crackle

Quite a good entry into the 80’s slasher stuff. Not a ton of gore but it didn’t need it. It plays up the mystery side and has a few twists that I loved. Pretty smart in my opinion. It didn’t hurt that is had Tracey E. Bregman in it either.

29. The House of the Devil. 5 out of 5 Netflix Instant

Still love this. Perfection.

30. The Legend of Hell House. 4 out of 5 Netflix Instant

Such a good classic movie, actual effects and actual acting. Very well done scary house. Great atmosphere. Roddy McDowell pretty much rules. I love the conventional effects and I’m sure real smoke was used.

31. The Lost Boys. 5 out of 5 Netflix Instant

One of the best vampire movies ever. One of the best 80’s movies ever. If you like it you need to see the most recent one. The only sparkle on the vampires is when they are on fire. Great soundtrack too.

32. 976-EVIL. 4 out of 5 Blockbuster Movie Pass Dish Network

Some great 80’s cheese. Flirts with Freddie with many one liners after it gets going. I hated it the first time I saw it but this time around I loved it. I hesitate to say it but it felt one of Stephen King’s lowly type of guys that gets powered up.

33. Cameron’s Closet 2 out of 5

Not a good one but worth a viewing. Feels like a cheap Poltergeist slash Exorcist thing.

34. The Thing. 5 out of 5 Netflix Instant

What a great film. To this day the effects hold up. Very creepy very claustrophobic. Very badass. Even if you aren’t into horror this one is hard to deny.

35. Prince of Darkness. 5 out of 5 Netflix Instant

This movie is freaky on lots of levels. Some people don’t get it and that’s fine. I love it. It sticks with me. The Jesse Ferguson scenes gives me chills and I feel the panic when they have to fight their way out. I kept an eye open for transmissions up until 1999.

36. Ginger Snaps. 4 out of 5 DVD

Nice weaving of werewolves into puberty. Good effects and characters that work. Should become a classic in the werewolf genre. It was a first time viewing for me and the suggestions held up. Nice creature design.

For 37 through 42 I watched the first 6 of the  A Nightmare On Elm Street series. The first is an obvious classic. Later films in the series draw lots of debate. I like them all differently as Freddy dished out cool demises across all his movies. Standouts are to be found in all of these. A particular favorite is part 3. Some people don’t like Alice but I really dig part 4 and 5 with her in it. They are well done and seem to give the series some weight and a great mythology. Speaking of mythology part 6 kind of shoots that notion down. I wasn’t impressed with the direction it took. Part 2 seems to be hard to place within the later ones and is probably the most true sequel in that sense regarding the original. Lots of excellent effects in this series. You can watch how effects progress across each movie. I really like the animatronic stuff. All in all a classic series that just about anyone can get into I think there’s something for everyone in it. 5 out of 5


There you have it, October Horror Fest 2011. This year I stayed away from the total gore fests and looks like I  hit werewolves a lot. No zombies. What is up with that? I think I did well considering we had a newborn in the house. I’ll have to rethink this for next year as she’ll be old enough to understand some things that we don’t really want her to understand. I’m not ready for those questions and I prefer that she find her own way into a film genre.


August 30, 2011 21 comments

FEB 08

I’m not sure where this will find you. I suspect I’ll have to print it as a keepsake for your mom. I suspect it’s normal for someone in my position, given the circumstances, to want to do this sort of thing for you. It may even be for me too. I feel led to do it. It could also just be weird.

The beginning is a great start. The best we can tell yours was around Thanksgiving 2010.  The events and times around us were uneasy but never too much to bare. The “World” has gotten pretty crazy, at least from my eyes it has. I think every generation has said this. The talk is of jobs, economy, and hate. People have split themselves into two groups and are at war over the shades of gray in between the black and white. These are matters for another day. Let’s just say it feels like a big change is coming.

Your first moments are surrounded by good solid people that you can depend on. We’ve spent a lot of time keeping the poisonous people away from our lives before you showed up. This only after having been pawns in their game. Sometimes you learn the hard way. It’s better to have fewer better people around. The same is true of material items. I hope this gets instilled into your code in an easier way than it got into mine.

From Thanksgiving through Christmas we had no idea you were here, just under the surface waiting and growing.

In early 2011, on a cold January morning your mom yelled at me from across the house. This is a normal thing, so I paid little attention. After she came and pulled me away from my coffee and showed me a test stick there’s a moment of  “nah it’s false” then a moment of pulling the instructions out of the trash, because I know your mom didn’t read them. Satisfied that the stick was legit we silently finished our morning routine and went work. You aren’t quite real.

Later that same day, we go to a doctor. They run a test and confirm with the science that you are indeed real. They put her at 5 weeks. We then schedule an appointment with the doctor she wants to use, for me it’s too far off in February. I want it all checked right now, the waiting is killing me. I don’t do so well with unknowns, you’ll learn this I’m sure. At the time of this writing (2-8-2011) you are about 10 weeks old and we have yet to see the doc.

My thoughts are consumed with you. I’m as restless as your mom. At this point only 8 people know you are coming. I want to tell more but we’ve opted out until we get that first doctor visit. I’m alone in the joy of my knowledge of you. I’m practicing prenatal communication whenever I lay my hand on your moms belly and say “Luke I am your father.” I’m not sure if you are a boy or a girl and I really don’t have a preference so don’t be offended. We’ll go over the Luke thing later. In just 5 or so weeks you have become a lot more real. So real in fact that I think my bottled up excitements, fears, and hopes may be causing my heart to act funny.

FEB 21

Tomorrow is February 22. Our first visit to the doctor to officially welcome you. I’m still waiting on word about my heart and actually have an appointment for that as well as you. In the last few days we’ve been texting boy names back and forth and are finding it hard to choose mainly because we know somebody with the name and don’t want you associated with them. We’re weird like that. We do however have a girl name picked out. After minimal arguing we settled on Ruby Fallon Grice. I don’t “get” the Fallon part but your mom loves it. I dig Ruby. Little Roo.

A few more people know of you now and we readying the news to our jobs, people might treat your mom different in the workplace so we are cautious. Tomorrow is a big day, I think we’ll see a picture of you via sonogram. You’ll be a gray blob in space of black, faceless but not nameless unless your a boy. In the meantime I still say “Luke or Leia I am your father!” into your mom’s belly. We’ve made a promise to not be those parents that post pics of it all over social media for the flood of virtual congrats. We’ll privately advertise to our inner circles of trust and hope for the real affection of real humans who matter to us. You are becoming more real.

FEB 26

We’ve announced you to our work and close friends that you are coming, we got to see you on the 22nd. So amazing to see you move and wave and crawl around. You look like a little alien in there. Your mom is being very strong and not complaining about things the other moms are complaining about. Doc said everything is normal and that’s the way we like it. I think next time we see you we may find out if you are a girl or a boy. That will be great news, your mom is a planner and would like to know so she can pick out what color stuff you get. I want you to be strong, those gender colors are meaningless to me. Your mom doesn’t know this but when I put my hand on her belly I imagine my love and thoughts flowing through it into her and into you. It’s important to me that you know I’m here.


I find myself daydreaming about the day you’ll come begging for a new video game console or to watch a movie. I really hope you are wired up like me regarding these things but if not I’ll take you however you are. I want the pregnancy to be over, I’m ready to have you here. I find myself consumed with the calendar. Counting weeks. The magic 9 months keeps popping up, but in reality it’s less. Less each day. Your mom brought some clothes home for you the other day. Even a goofy Christmas outfit. Some of the people we know have decided to give us a crib and other things for you. Don’t hate us because we didn’t buy all new gear, we have tried to be smart and this makes sense. Time are tough, so saving a buck does matter. Besides, a crib that was used for another baby that is just sitting around is being wasted. Waste is a big deal in the world and we don’t want to contribute if we don’t have to.  We even visited some daycares and got on their waiting list. Funny how we have to plan so far ahead.

We had a doctor visit scheduled. Your mom has had pretty bad pain in the left of her back. We’ve been worried about it so we moved the visit up a day. She didn’t ask for me to go back so I did not get to hear your heartbeat. She said it was “fine.” I’m pretty pissed about it. I feel robbed. No one ever told me I could just go back there. Out of respect I stayed put in the waiting room. I didn’t want to miss it and I was looking forward to it so much. Doc said her pain is her kidneys “expanding from fluid.” It should go away pretty soon. It has been bothering her a lot.

We’re in the process of getting a contractor to come finish a room out in the house. You are taking up space in the real world already.


Internets told us you can hear now. Your mom and I have been riding to work to save a buck due to gas being really high, on those commutes we have some quiet time and very light conversation. I’ve been choosing albums to listen to on these rides, hopefully you like them. Most of the records were pretty influential to me when I was a teenager. I’ll do my best to keep the good stuff flowing. You are also aware that we have dogs, you can’t miss their barks or our yelling at them. You also probably know your mom is a loud talker. She loves to do this. It’s a feature. I wonder if you get accustomed to it seeing as you are getting built inside her? I have yet to.

I also want to say that this is not in any way representative of how both of us feel. I have no way to put Rita on paper. These are just some random slices of where I am as I wait for you to get here. We’re supposed to get an amniocentesis pretty soon. This is scary to me. Actually terrifying is a better word. I’m praying this goes well and really dreading it too. It seems every thing I do gets interrupted with thoughts about you. I’m consumed. I feel good about it too. You’re six moons away and everything in my life except you feels like water is washing it away or it’s rising like smoke from a fire, just doesn’t matter, they can wait.

April 20

Today we hope to find out if you are a boy or girl. Honestly I just want healthy. Though knowing will settle a few debates your mom and I have had lately. We’ve been waiting for this. So much so the rest of the world can just pass us by.

In the meantime we’ve had a few folks come see the unfinished room in the attic so it can be finished. This will free up a room for you. Already we have been gifted a crib and changing table along with some toys. I suspect even more stuff will find its way home to us once your flavor is determined.

There’s been banter and begging on the social networks about your mom posting pictures of her “bump.” She’s apprehensive at best. For this I applaud her. We want you all to ourselves. The things we can control we fully intend to, to keep the wolves at bay.

April 21

We now know, as far as our science can tell, that you are a girl. This pleases us to no end. Now we know what color stuff to get. Your name is chosen. We hope you like it. We hope it won’t be a burden or be a source of ridicule. Ruby Fallon Grice.

You being a girl will be a learning experience for me. I have no frame of reference other than a boy. It will rule out a few things I thought important to teach should you have been a boy, such as peeing on trees. I suppose I’ll find another kernel of wisdom that is more lady like.

The doctor said you are growing normally and everything looks great. This pleases us more than your gender, it’s been my biggest hangup. I just wanted a healthy baby. It appears I’m getting it. We got a fancy picture of you also, one of those 4-d pics. Kinda cool, it lets us see your face as it is at 18-19 weeks. We are pretty much halfway home to getting your here and it feels as if it is flying by and the rest of the world is in the back seat. Your mom is a soldier, a secret strength I can only imagine, is driving her while she builds you. It puts me in awe of the miracle that is going on.

The daydreaming of what it will be like having a kid around is increasing. It’s exciting and scary. It marks the end of Rita and I as we know it. The toys we’ve been given look so very out of place in our house. To this point we’ve only had dogs, you’ll be a bit more complicated than them. Though they have taken an interest in the toys. To this point we’ve only had each other. Our selfishness is waning and should be gone in about 4 moons. Know that I love you and can’t tell you in any way except to pet your mom’s belly and through my imagined telepathy.

MAY 16

Finally, I have felt your presence in the physical world. Your mom has been aware for longer and I’ve been left out of the fun. Early one morning last Thursday she grabbed my hand and placed it on her belly, I felt 4 very brief and faint taps. So cool.

I’ve taken steps in my life to be of more help in yours. I took a job closer to home and one with less stress. Less poisonous people. So far it is great. We’ll save a buck on gas and I can be closer to you. One daycare, if you get in, is right across the street from the job. The others are very close too, within a mile or two.

June 8

You move a lot when we play music, I take it you like it. Recently it’s been Foo Fighters and Beastie Boys, this is some of the good stuff I mentioned above.

The last little bit has been quiet, your mom is holding up well and has no complaints except when you kick. Our visits to the doctor are about to increase as we get into the home stretch. The contractor is here working on our spare room and some other odds and ends. Hopefully he’ll get done soon and we can setup your room. We’ve been buying things a little along to prep for you and we still feel like we will be caught off guard. I think this normal and to be expected. There is so much stuff out there for babies it’s overwhelming. I don’t even know what size clothes to get, so I get them a little bigger because I know you’ll grow into them.

Your mom has deliberated quite intently on the bedding you get, this matters a lot to her. The traditional color for girls is pink and is not my favorite, I hope you protest when possible. At any rate that call is not one of mine, I’m a dumb man.

I just want you here already. Once you get here I can sneak a Wookie or a Pooh bear into your room.

June 28

Wow what a month. Mom was diagnosed with gestational diabetes last week. She was pretty busted up thinking it was her fault. All that isn’t true. it’s a hormonal thing. It should go away after you get here. In the meantime she HAS to take a blood sugar reading 4 times a day and this involves needles. She also has to be very careful with what she eats. This is hard for her as she can’t be told what to do by anybody, but she is doing her best, for you. If her sugar gets out of whack it can cause your development to get out of whack, particularly the pancreas. This can lead to you being overweight or putting you at risk for getting diabetes as you age. It also means means mom may get diabetes later in life. The diagnosis is a good thing because it will help your mom change her ways to avoid diabetes and that will keep her around longer for both of us.

We didn’t have this knowledge when we were coming up and we are glad to know about it now, to help get you off to a good start.

On a brighter note, you have room.  A pink and green room. You have so much phat loot already. Toys and clothes and a Wookie even. The dog ate the Wookie but I’ll get you another, I promise. I find myself opening the door to this empty room and trying to imagine you here in it.

People spend a lot of time caught up in patterns because they are comfortable and safe and they provide a little view into the future. I’m guilty of this. Until you came along I was in a pattern. Now I have no bearing and it feels like another world is opening up.

July 9

The gestational diabetes is under control through diet and mom only has to stick herself twice a day now, down from 4. We’ve been at some parenthood classes at the hospital and it’s interesting to say the least. There are so many differences between every pregnancy it’s amazing, they are like snowflakes. In these classes we get to see other parents and the facilities where you will enter our world. Some of this stuff is scary as hell. The tools the drugs. Your mom is so strong I can’t even imagine. The role I play is minimal and there isn’t much I can do except be there for her.

She’s having braxton hicks at times so we know you are getting to arrive, due to the GD the doc moved up your birthday by 2 weeks. That will put you at 38 weeks. He also wants to induce labor to minimize any risk related to the GD, it’s possible that the insulin levels can speed up your growth and stress your pancreas. This means mom will have some drugs to get you moving. I panic, quite openly at this and have dug in on the research regarding induction. Tons of people have it done with no problems so I take comfort there but I’m a worrier so take that as you may.

All this makes me wonder how in the world births have been going on since we started walking on this rock. Words like miraculous surface.

On a lighter note, we dropped by a used bookstore and I saw some old (1980’s) Choose Your Own Adventure books, I bought those for you. You can read them on rainy days. I had a lot of fun with them when I was coming up, hopefully books are still cool when you get old enough for them. The world is going digital and the great tangibles of my youth are floating in the ether now.

I remember from a book, Dune. The main character gained the ability to see all possible outcomes of situations. This is how I felt before you. I was master of my time and space and would follow the plan. Now I can’t see any path but one. We charge ahead as three.


August 30

On our last trip to the doc, we were told that Sept 1st you would arrive. Today doc says it’s a choice. The “plan” was for your mom to be induced due to the gestational diabetes, for fear of you getting too big.  We love having that flag in the sand.

Mom is choosing to go ahead. This is a call only she can make, it’s her body. So, tomorrow night we go the hospital and she’ll be given Cervidil, followed by Pitocin the next morning. If all goes well you’ll be here sometime Thursday afternoon, I am beside myself with anticipation.

Mom has done a great job following all the rules, her daily sugar tests are always well within the range and she’s eating cleaner, for you and herself. She’s really uncomfortable at this stage and claims you’re being rough on her. She has barely complained about anything so when she does I listen.

These inductions can be long and drawn out affairs so I’m really hoping she is ready. I just have to wait and be supportive, she has a lot of work to do to get you here. I know she’s strong.

The next couple of days will be the last we spend as two people, we’ve had 13 years and we’ve said our farewells. The new models are coming.

So Ruby, here’s to you. Here’s hoping we get you healthy and keep you that way, we are ready for you to get here and get the next chapter going. We have a lot of hopes to pin to you and many dreams of where we ‘d like to see you go. Come on home baby.

Categories: blogging

Slaughtered by a female with primitive weapons, this tenderloin is prepared to fuel my unborn child.

July 30, 2011 3 comments

Slaughtered by a female with primitive weapons, this tenderloin is prepared to fuel my unborn child. It’s important to build Roo with the best I can find. My dear neighbor gave us this meat and for this I thank her.

Venison tenderloin, medallion cut.

Venison Tenderloin Medallions

Soak in milk for a half hour to mute the wild taste.

Milk Bath

Remove from milk bath and place in ziploc bag with red wine vinegar for an hour.

Red Wine Vinegar

Medallions in Vinegar Bath

Medallions in Vinegar Bath

In a cast iron skillet, melt butter in olive oil on a medium heat.

Cast Iron, Olive Oil, Butter

Cast Iron, Olive Oil, Butter

Add medallions, keeping an eye on them until the blood cooks out, tenderloin doesn’t need much cooking, be careful.

Into the Fire

Into the Fire

Juices Are Key Timers

Juices Are Key Timers

When the meat is done, add some onions and gravy mix to the love in pan, make the gravy as thick or thin as you like.



Gravy In Love

Gravy In Love

Serve on white rice, eat and enjoy, slap a momma.

Float It On White Rice

Float It On White Rice

Categories: blogging, food, paleo, primal, recipe

Faileo #Paleo

May 30, 2011 2 comments

I tried to make banana pancakes. They sucked.

Banana Pancake Fixings

I opted for a better breakfast.

Bacon and Eggs

My #Nothing Smoothie Brings Errbody to the Yard.

May 21, 2011 9 comments

I’m not a smoothie kind of guy but my smoothie is way more #paleo #primal than ANY of the other smoothies out there. Through advanced scientific research I’ve removed the very un paleo layer of processing in typical smoothies. With that neolithic layer of processing removed we can advance some more science by letting your own body do the processing thereby infusing the food with #nadatology. This astounding breakthrough in #nadatology is being made available to EVERY PERSON for FREE. Here’s how you can get in on this next generation advanced offer:

1. Put what you want to eat in your mouth and chew it. In this case our research team used organic spring mix, gluten free fajita beef, diced pickled jalapenos, and some extra sharp cheddar.

2. Swallow

3. Wait for the scientific miracle of #nadatology to occur, 6-10 hours is the typical time it takes for the #nadatology to work its melonfarming wicked sorcery.

Here is the before:

I’ll post the after upon request, to get the best possible smoothie you really just need to let #nadatology do the work for you. Unnecessary straining isn’t suggested and can alter the output. You can’t rush good science, people.

Bitching Moaning Growing

May 18, 2011 3 comments

Job stress, new baby, heart problems. Three big reasons I slipped into a pit of about 50/50 paleo primal eating.

The heart PVCs being number one and having the broadest range of causes. That led me to increase carbs, cut out coffee, and dig in on electrolytes. Increasing carbs went down in the form of including more processed foods and served the other purpose of getting rid of any stress related to me being “paleo enough.” So, for february up until now I pretty much have been eating what I want with no particular dogma attached to it. Suffice it to say I put 5 pounds back on and have had a return of sinus issues.

Caffeine was not a cause or contributing factor, I saw no increase or decrease in the events on decaf or full joe. Decaf fucking sucks. I did cut out salt and have no plan to put it back in, I think there’s enough in everything else.

I’m pretty convinced the biggest factor was stress. Coming to terms with my daughter getting ready to come for a stay and changing jobs have led to a damn near complete stop of the events. Following and listening your heart is no bullshit. Since leaving the assholes of the evil dot com and taking a spot at a dot org I have had ZERO heart events.

I also dropped my kettlebell out of fear of adding stress so my activity level since February has been that of a house cat. Late last year I signed up for the Warrior Dash just to prove I could do it and have some fun. With the life changes I was real close to bailing out and just having a few days in the mountains. A friend of mine urged me to go ahead and do it. So I did. I’m proud of me. I never thought I’d get over that wall and yet I crushed it. I faced neck deep water too and for a grown ass man who can’t swim it’s a big deal.

Now I’m charged up and motivated.  I’ve done about 400 swings this week with no ill effects. This is a sign of things to come.

I understand this post is a bit all over the place but so what who cares? Lots of #nothing to come.

Breakfast of Warriors

#Kettlebell …form is crucial.

April 14, 2011 2 comments

Primal Paleo Awesome Super Great News Get In Now

April 1, 2011 8 comments

I’ve been thinking about all the great things that have happened to me since adopting a paleo/primal way of eating. So many things, wonderful things. I dropped 40 pounds in 3 months, kept it off with no problems too. I want to return the favor. I’m led, with my heart, to do this.

Starting today if you send me 80 bucks in American monies I will email and call you with primal and paleo tips and advice. I’ll even google the free shit for you and forward those links to you. The value is incredible. In a move not too distant from Fight Club, I’m happy to sell your ass back to you. It’d be an honor to be a primal coach with the greats.

As a bonus I plan to do a series of posts on the healing power of paleo and primal living. I’ve have an extensive background in papercuts and stubbed toes. My scientific series on not washing my ass is another mind blowing part of the package. You need to sign up now. It’s a limited time offer. Only subscribers have any hope of getting in on this action. Another amazing part of this package includes  me tweeting  your progress with advanced hashtag technology to drive SEO.

Here is a glimpse into the results you can achieve under my leadership:















Let’s do this shit people. Let’s get you trained up. You need it. Just look at how fucking ripped I am after 6 months of not eating donuts and cheetos. You owe it to yourself.