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Deadly Nightshades.

For the fringe foodies out there I offer the following, a processed snack or meal depending on your taste. I’m sure it can be made more dogma legal and by all means go for it. Nightshades taste good to me. Here’s how to weaponize them to use against haters from all sects.

You will need:

6-8 strips of bacon

1 block of Neufchatel/Cream cheese at room temp

6-8 good size jalapeno peppers

Smoked sausage (optional)

Knife

I like to bake my bacon in the oven, cover a pan with foil and lay out the bacon. Put it in the oven at 375 for about 20 minutes, you should be able to tell if it is ready.

While the bacon is cooking wash and pop the cap on your jalapenos.

Carefully remove the inside of the pepper and the seeds. Do not rub your eyes unless you like pain, then go ahead.

Once you get them cored, set them aside for a few minutes and wait for this bacon to get done.

Take your bacon out of the oven when it’s done. It should appear as shown.

Using your bare hands crumble it to bits. Put the bacon bits in a bowl with the cheese, I added some bacon grease for good measure.

Mix it together until it’s a pretty even mixture.

Grab some smoked sausage if you want, this is optional but tasty. Slice a piece for each pepper you have.

Next we want to slice the peppers down one side and put some of the cheese and bacon into each one, then plug the hole with some sausage, like so.

Once that is done put the stuffed peppers in the oven until they get roasted up real nice. I did 375 for about 15 minutes. I also used the same pan I cooked the bacon in. The sausage is a good timer also, when it’s ready the whole thing should be ready.

Now you have a great snack or meal that you can enjoy if your dogma allows it. In a pinch these can be used as bullets against wicked vegans or nightshade hating paleonazis and should provide ample knockdown at range. NOTE: I used a Motorola Xoom powered by Android Honeycomb to get these pictures.

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  1. March 6, 2011 at 2:56 pm

    Thanks alot Scott, now I’m hungry again

  2. Stacey
    March 6, 2011 at 4:02 pm

    Hellz to the yum! Great post!

  3. March 6, 2011 at 6:29 pm

    These are definitely going on my next party menu!

    Now I’m trying to figure out an excuse to have a party.

    • Linda
      March 7, 2011 at 1:29 am

      Who needs a party to eat these yummy goodies? Not me!

      • March 7, 2011 at 7:11 am

        Thanks for reading and the positive feedback.

  4. Kate
    March 6, 2011 at 8:57 pm

    FRICK! YUM!

    • March 7, 2011 at 7:11 am

      Indeed. They tasted great.

  5. March 7, 2011 at 9:39 am

    Looks really yummy!

  6. March 7, 2011 at 2:45 pm

    Have to say these look mighty tasty. Maybe I’ll make in the summer and char the outside of ’em on the grill.

    Really appreciate the insider agitator tone, too. I get pretty irritated at all the sanctimony about nightshades or nuts or whatever and such. You know what I say? Eff ’em. More for us.

    • March 8, 2011 at 11:03 am

      Yeah on a grill these would be awesome, they’d get that blister.

      I like to think the old dudes would have used hot peppers as a test of manhood. You know?

  7. May 11, 2011 at 1:37 am

    Those are going to make your peepee fall off.

    • May 15, 2011 at 8:48 pm

      So that’s what that was.

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