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My #Nothing Smoothie Brings Errbody to the Yard.

May 21, 2011 9 comments

I’m not a smoothie kind of guy but my smoothie is way more #paleo #primal than ANY of the other smoothies out there. Through advanced scientific research I’ve removed the very un paleo layer of processing in typical smoothies. With that neolithic layer of processing removed we can advance some more science by letting your own body do the processing thereby infusing the food with #nadatology. This astounding breakthrough in #nadatology is being made available to EVERY PERSON for FREE. Here’s how you can get in on this next generation advanced offer:

1. Put what you want to eat in your mouth and chew it. In this case our research team used organic spring mix, gluten free fajita beef, diced pickled jalapenos, and some extra sharp cheddar.

2. Swallow

3. Wait for the scientific miracle of #nadatology to occur, 6-10 hours is the typical time it takes for the #nadatology to work its melonfarming wicked sorcery.

Here is the before:

I’ll post the after upon request, to get the best possible smoothie you really just need to let #nadatology do the work for you. Unnecessary straining isn’t suggested and can alter the output. You can’t rush good science, people.

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Halfway. #projectradiosilence

March 28, 2011 10 comments

I’ve reached the middle of my little social media blackout. I’ve been fasting the old info diet. Let me tell you that after being off the smack you change. I never noticed it when people in the real world talk about “your posts” or “did you see what so and so posted?”

I answered “No. I did not see the post. I haven’t looked at FB for x days.”

They retort, “what the fuck is wrong with you?” I say give it a listen and see how many times you hear it.

I remember fondly checking my cell and laughing at a stray tweet and then being asked “what’s so funny?” I have no answer for that, you had to be there. Now I see at the restaurant the other Zoo Humans sitting 3 feet away from each other and never once look up. Fingers sliding on the glass in some motion resembling a martial art. I DO NOT miss that.

I remember being caught up in some virtual drama that was about as serious as watching grass grow. Yet needing to refresh so I didn’t miss the next big salvo in the pissing match. I DO NOT miss that.

You also tune into people overfishing all the media for that next big status update or that line that is tweet worthy-guilty. On one hand I miss it, the other I’m sad. Ducking out of hyperspace left a void. It’s been filled with more tangible offerings. Cooking for the wife is the one.

There’s something to the amount of screen time you get being a reason you can’t sleep for shit, either. I’ve had some 12 hour naps in the last 20 days, thanks to not giving  a damn that you hate your job. Thanks also to not caring that you have become so miserable you have no outlet but to make everybody else miserable. I DO NOT miss that shit.

 

Hopefully the next 20 days will be similar. So far they’ve been peaceful. It’s been good to not have the burden.

Will I jack back into the matrix? Yes. I got my prescription for red pills re-filled.

Said, you don’t like the way I’m living? #projectradiosilence

March 25, 2011 3 comments

I may not get it. I may need help or not. I’m not sure at times. I love hitting shuffle on the mp3 player and having a sermon delivered. Nothing like that kinship with music that has heart.

I find it hard to see the heart in a lot of music today. I’ve been seeking. I find it hard to see the heart in a lot of things, I’ve been seeking. That seeking has led to me some dark places and some greener pastures. Today shuffle brought a track that sums up tons in the way I see and feel about things. I’m glad my late night teenage outings allowed my DNA to be injected with such great music. I’m saddened I can’t find anymore because it’s become so buried. I’m not sure if it was the drugs or if we as a society in those times were just doing it right, but something or someone came down and blessed so many with the method to raise the hairs on my neck and I’m sure the necks of others. Maybe because we were less connected? Maybe we had to think and feel for ourselves with the real warm body of a friend? Maybe we were all on the same shit?

Something about getting away from the city lights and heading out into the dark. The stars get big and the pulls on a bottle get bigger. Bigger still the expanse of the mind and the elation of its growth and ability to see there is another way or to see the good in your path and continue on it. Under those big stars you’d get smaller. Never so small as to not know your place but small enough to feel the planet move. Those long summer nights lit by a small fire lent themselves to time travel of sorts, we’d watch the moon move across the sky.

“Teenage angst has paid off well, now I’m bored and old.”

 

That meant a lot back then. It was like we turned the corner and could stand on our own. We could stand for and against what we wanted and it would matter. The loud talkers would become less than the smoke rising up from our fire. Their message muted like our stoned out eyes. The volume of the car stereo increased and so did our commune. We were all on the same page. I feel today that my page is home to just me. Maybe it’s supposed to be that way? Maybe it’s part of that corner turning? I wonder.

I leave you with an excerpt of the lyrics from the track that spun this up. Give it a listen.

What do you think they would say
If I stood up and I walked away
Nobody here really understands me
And so I’ll wave goodbye I’m fine
And I’m fine

 

Big bear chase me.

March 20, 2011 2 comments

11 Crepe Myrtles. 11 holes dug with a shovel. 11 wheelbarrows full of dirt moved from the front yard to the back. 18 cubic feet of potting soil hoisted on my shoulders to the 11 holes. 18 cubic feet of hardwood mulch spread to the 11 holes.
Shovel.
Wheelbarrow.
Knife.
Myself.
Dirty hands and sweat from the brow stinging my eyes.
I dare say it’s free therapy.
I dare say it is Church.

By the end I’m telling myself “just one more rep….”

At the end I’m telling myself “big bear chase…”

Idiocracy is real and it’s going to kill me. #projectradiosilence

March 15, 2011 10 comments

I’ve been tempted. I’ve resisted the urge to just open the social networks and check in.
A small victory.
I imagine all the posts about being stuck in traffic or a grocery line and all the holier than thous professing just how much better they are than you. I imagine the wisecracks at Japan and about how they should of not built near water. I imagine there are a few true posters lamenting about being away from home or missing their families or being proud of their new puppy or their baby. I imagine my own same mundane smart assery, then I quit imagining. I come to my senses and turn away from the beast and let it continue to eat the masses. I’m not wanting to be digested so easily anymore. It seems the beast we’ve made thrives on poisonous things.

I just keep my mouth shut.

I’m burning down to ash and plan to smolder. When the fire comes back it will be anew. So far so good, one less tiny screen commanding me to jump into the fray.

I think we as a people have been dumbed down and numbed down. We think there’s an app for that, an app for everything. Somebody or something else will do it for me. Try this at the next big box store, pay in cash and watch the cashier struggle to count back change. Go through a drive through and order off the grid, take a number 1 and make it a number 2, a cheeseburger with no cheese, if you dare. Watch for the smoke from the attendant window as their gears grind to a nub. Too much stuff doing the thinking for us. All you have to do is look good and stay tuned in.

I’ve thought in the past and agreed with the premise that the new privacy is that you have none, under that model you need a light on the grid in order to stay off the grid. When that light goes out you stick out like an un-hammered nail. We know what happens to those. That said, seeing as how you “need” a light on, it’s wise to make yours burn in a different way. In the land of the blind as it were. In the land of the blind my neighbors won’t wave at me but will comment on a link I post. In the land of the blind your public facing side gets more cred than your soul. In the land of the blind you owe a like minded response or risk being judged accordingly. In the land of the blind your contribution to the link economy is worth more than a physical helping hand outstretched.

A hierarchy
Spread out on the nightstand
The spirit of team
Salvation is another chance
A sore loser
Yelling with my mouth shut

A cracking portrait
The fondling of trophies
The null of losing
Can you afford that luxury?
A sore winner
But I’ll just keep my mouth shut

It shouldn’t bother me
But it does

The small victories
The cankers and medallions
<<>>
They keep me thinking
That someday
I might beat you
But I’ll just keep my mouth shut

It shouldn’t bother me
But it does

IF I SPEAK AT ONE CONSTANT VOLUME AT ONE CONSTANT PITCH AT ONE CONSTANT RHYTHM
RIGHT INTO YOUR EAR, YOU STILL WONT HEAR
You still won’t hear
You still won’t hear
You still won’t hear
You still won’t hear
You still won’t hear
You still won’t hear

Turn The Light Out

March 8, 2011 14 comments

One big thing about going primal, to me, was cutting out excess and embracing a more minimal position in life. Making due. Getting by. Fewer nicer things. This has worked out well in many areas. It’s given me more energy and more good days. It led to me to a core group of people that I wish were really in my real life and not just an avatar on my phone or laptop. I’ve broken bread with some and it was amazing.

I’ve written about lifeboat builders and coconut washers before. This idea haunts me and when verbalized gets filled with passion when I tell others. To that end I want to strip out another layer of poison from my diet, my info diet. Social media is fun and time consuming, I love it and the views I get on all the different topics and people in the world. Sadly it has a downside, increased screen time and disrupted sleep, to name a few. It proves out the fact that a lot of people have a side they want you to see even if it is fabricated for an audience.

I am what I am if you know what I mean. WYSIWYG.

For the next 40 days no twitter. No book of face. They get too much of my time. They’ve intruded on the real world enough. I even had a guy call me on my phone to express concern for me only to shit on me the next day, virtually of course. What a bunch of fucking two faced weirdos out there. I do not allow that shit in my real life and I won’t allow it in the tubes either.  Those who really know me will understand and know how to get me. I’m no big loss anyways and it’s only 40 days. Should be plenty of time for the drama to blow over and let us rise from the ashes. We’ll see who is left and be better off for it. I stopped watching the big news channels last April and it was great move. Now the paleo/primal crowd is just as hate filled as Democrats and Republicans. Not my scene. I dig the n=1 folks who dare to have a brain.

I plan to blog and do email, that’s about it. Any tweets will be from those posts. I’m going to focus on me and my wife. I have a child growing in my wife and I love it with all my body and soul. Those things are more important than petty internet “friends” trying to farm hits. Sorry you couldn’t market me.

40 days, 40 nights. 80/20 and kettlebells.

Soul Food. #reverb10

December 27, 2010 Leave a comment

Soul food.

What did you eat this year you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul?

Finally scoring some local grass fed beef. This “touched” me on several levels. Personally having an intimate connection to what I eat was huge. Knowing the source, standing on the very grass that fed the cow I consumed. Profoundly knocks you awake. Firmly roots your location in the “grand scheme of things.”

We’ve grown separate from the earthly cycles. Our digital bubbles so clinical. That contact with flesh is powerful and becoming forgotten.