Archive for the ‘rant’ Category

My #Nothing Smoothie Brings Errbody to the Yard.

May 21, 2011 9 comments

I’m not a smoothie kind of guy but my smoothie is way more #paleo #primal than ANY of the other smoothies out there. Through advanced scientific research I’ve removed the very un paleo layer of processing in typical smoothies. With that neolithic layer of processing removed we can advance some more science by letting your own body do the processing thereby infusing the food with #nadatology. This astounding breakthrough in #nadatology is being made available to EVERY PERSON for FREE. Here’s how you can get in on this next generation advanced offer:

1. Put what you want to eat in your mouth and chew it. In this case our research team used organic spring mix, gluten free fajita beef, diced pickled jalapenos, and some extra sharp cheddar.

2. Swallow

3. Wait for the scientific miracle of #nadatology to occur, 6-10 hours is the typical time it takes for the #nadatology to work its melonfarming wicked sorcery.

Here is the before:

I’ll post the after upon request, to get the best possible smoothie you really just need to let #nadatology do the work for you. Unnecessary straining isn’t suggested and can alter the output. You can’t rush good science, people.


Bitching Moaning Growing

May 18, 2011 3 comments

Job stress, new baby, heart problems. Three big reasons I slipped into a pit of about 50/50 paleo primal eating.

The heart PVCs being number one and having the broadest range of causes. That led me to increase carbs, cut out coffee, and dig in on electrolytes. Increasing carbs went down in the form of including more processed foods and served the other purpose of getting rid of any stress related to me being “paleo enough.” So, for february up until now I pretty much have been eating what I want with no particular dogma attached to it. Suffice it to say I put 5 pounds back on and have had a return of sinus issues.

Caffeine was not a cause or contributing factor, I saw no increase or decrease in the events on decaf or full joe. Decaf fucking sucks. I did cut out salt and have no plan to put it back in, I think there’s enough in everything else.

I’m pretty convinced the biggest factor was stress. Coming to terms with my daughter getting ready to come for a stay and changing jobs have led to a damn near complete stop of the events. Following and listening your heart is no bullshit. Since leaving the assholes of the evil dot com and taking a spot at a dot org I have had ZERO heart events.

I also dropped my kettlebell out of fear of adding stress so my activity level since February has been that of a house cat. Late last year I signed up for the Warrior Dash just to prove I could do it and have some fun. With the life changes I was real close to bailing out and just having a few days in the mountains. A friend of mine urged me to go ahead and do it. So I did. I’m proud of me. I never thought I’d get over that wall and yet I crushed it. I faced neck deep water too and for a grown ass man who can’t swim it’s a big deal.

Now I’m charged up and motivated.  I’ve done about 400 swings this week with no ill effects. This is a sign of things to come.

I understand this post is a bit all over the place but so what who cares? Lots of #nothing to come.

Breakfast of Warriors

Halfway. #projectradiosilence

March 28, 2011 10 comments

I’ve reached the middle of my little social media blackout. I’ve been fasting the old info diet. Let me tell you that after being off the smack you change. I never noticed it when people in the real world talk about “your posts” or “did you see what so and so posted?”

I answered “No. I did not see the post. I haven’t looked at FB for x days.”

They retort, “what the fuck is wrong with you?” I say give it a listen and see how many times you hear it.

I remember fondly checking my cell and laughing at a stray tweet and then being asked “what’s so funny?” I have no answer for that, you had to be there. Now I see at the restaurant the other Zoo Humans sitting 3 feet away from each other and never once look up. Fingers sliding on the glass in some motion resembling a martial art. I DO NOT miss that.

I remember being caught up in some virtual drama that was about as serious as watching grass grow. Yet needing to refresh so I didn’t miss the next big salvo in the pissing match. I DO NOT miss that.

You also tune into people overfishing all the media for that next big status update or that line that is tweet worthy-guilty. On one hand I miss it, the other I’m sad. Ducking out of hyperspace left a void. It’s been filled with more tangible offerings. Cooking for the wife is the one.

There’s something to the amount of screen time you get being a reason you can’t sleep for shit, either. I’ve had some 12 hour naps in the last 20 days, thanks to not giving  a damn that you hate your job. Thanks also to not caring that you have become so miserable you have no outlet but to make everybody else miserable. I DO NOT miss that shit.


Hopefully the next 20 days will be similar. So far they’ve been peaceful. It’s been good to not have the burden.

Will I jack back into the matrix? Yes. I got my prescription for red pills re-filled.

Said, you don’t like the way I’m living? #projectradiosilence

March 25, 2011 3 comments

I may not get it. I may need help or not. I’m not sure at times. I love hitting shuffle on the mp3 player and having a sermon delivered. Nothing like that kinship with music that has heart.

I find it hard to see the heart in a lot of music today. I’ve been seeking. I find it hard to see the heart in a lot of things, I’ve been seeking. That seeking has led to me some dark places and some greener pastures. Today shuffle brought a track that sums up tons in the way I see and feel about things. I’m glad my late night teenage outings allowed my DNA to be injected with such great music. I’m saddened I can’t find anymore because it’s become so buried. I’m not sure if it was the drugs or if we as a society in those times were just doing it right, but something or someone came down and blessed so many with the method to raise the hairs on my neck and I’m sure the necks of others. Maybe because we were less connected? Maybe we had to think and feel for ourselves with the real warm body of a friend? Maybe we were all on the same shit?

Something about getting away from the city lights and heading out into the dark. The stars get big and the pulls on a bottle get bigger. Bigger still the expanse of the mind and the elation of its growth and ability to see there is another way or to see the good in your path and continue on it. Under those big stars you’d get smaller. Never so small as to not know your place but small enough to feel the planet move. Those long summer nights lit by a small fire lent themselves to time travel of sorts, we’d watch the moon move across the sky.

“Teenage angst has paid off well, now I’m bored and old.”


That meant a lot back then. It was like we turned the corner and could stand on our own. We could stand for and against what we wanted and it would matter. The loud talkers would become less than the smoke rising up from our fire. Their message muted like our stoned out eyes. The volume of the car stereo increased and so did our commune. We were all on the same page. I feel today that my page is home to just me. Maybe it’s supposed to be that way? Maybe it’s part of that corner turning? I wonder.

I leave you with an excerpt of the lyrics from the track that spun this up. Give it a listen.

What do you think they would say
If I stood up and I walked away
Nobody here really understands me
And so I’ll wave goodbye I’m fine
And I’m fine


Take a seat by the fire.

March 19, 2011 6 comments

It’s nothing new and it’s not going anywhere. I thought this thread over at paleohacks was interesting. It shows the types of attitudes within the paleo/primal community. It shows I’m not alone. Here are a couple of excerpts:

I dislike the vegan/vegetarian bashing. There is no doubt vegans are equally, if not more, critical of meat eaters. But as cliched as it might be, two wrongs don’t make a right. I am confident in Paleo being the right approach to health and don’t have the need to feel good about it by being critical of the “heretics”. However, it seems like a lot of Paleo blogs / posts here feel the need to point out the nonsense of vegetarianism, incurring further criticism from the veggie-folks. Feels like we live in Gaza with this kind of b.s.

I’ve seen some misogyny in blogs, but most of it I’ve encountered has been in IRL meetups, mostly from men in the “pickup” community.

I hate the caveman image

btw- bashing vegetarians is a-okay in my book. They get an easy pass for being aholes and need to be knopcked off the pedestal as often as possibel but please know ytour facts before you attack.

All these Paleo-people talking about the low-carb,fruits,IF,CF,The Paleo-lifestyle etc. made my anxiety even worse….I’m now scared of amounts of fat,fruits and certain veggies (like beets,carrots,pumpkin…let alone sweet potatoe!),coconut milk and dairy (though I love sheep’s and goat cheese,which are high in fat too,which scares me). I’m caught in such a horrible thinking pattern

Give it a read, feel free to discuss here or there. My point of view is that it is ok for you try to do better, some blogs/experts will disagree. Once what you eat becomes a religion or weapon to low blow another person, you probably need to move on.

Searching for the 100th Monkey

December 2, 2010 Leave a comment


I’ve had several battles to rid my life of monsters that I deem unworthy or monsters who were phantom masters pulling my strings. For a long time I bought into things, bought the right things, and followed right along getting in line like a good sheep. Lined up and freely offered veins for the vampires. The monsters kept me in the fence even though my mind was a rebel. This was done in trade for some sense of security. Some sense of you scratch my back I’ll scratch yours. A lot of times your back doesn’t get scratched. On those days you look for a gap in the fence, as the grass is greener. When you do crossover the fence under a flag of peace or surrender you come to see the same monster with a line of the willing, waiting. Go ahead, get in line. Top down control is working great so far. Right?

Call me a paranoid, call me a rebel, call me whatever. I recently caught a documentary about a guy named Michael Ruppert. In it he talks about the topic of peak oil. He talks about the link of that oil to nearly facet of everything we do today. He then goes into what happens after the peak. There’s a lot of charts and talk on prices but the root is that the current system is not sustainable. It will fail simply due to the fact that the fuel is finite. I’m no math wiz but I can see when it costs more to get your energy you have a problem. All that aside he made some great points on when it happens, what needs to happen to make sure “we” are ok. He put great emphasis on community on local resources. This is lacking in our globalized economy. His example was Cuba. Yes, Communist. Yes, poor. Starving, no. They don’t have big agri, they are encouraged to grow food on the rooftops. The globalized tiers ensure the top a stream of resources, remember those vampires? His other observation was that of the Titanic. On the sinking ship are 3 types of people. The panic freaks who are useless in a crisis, the ones who will build a lifeboat if you show them how, and the ones who go sit in the bar because it’s the fucking Titanic and it was unsinkable. Which group are you in? Seek out the lifeboat builders in your life.

Finally we get to the monkeys. He told a tale of some nuked islands back in the day. Scientists wanted to repopulate the wildlife and do their studies. They chose monkeys for this. In the back of my mind I suspect these monkeys are lab rats but I digress. Due to the radiation the scientists thought it would be helpful to teach the monkeys how to wash the food they found. They taught 2, those 2 taught a few more and so on. Time passes and groups of monkeys wash their food and some don’t. More time passes, the old teach the young. Once that knowledge which was saving their lives reached the 100th Monkey, the entire group washed their food together and this was now instinct among all monkeys. Surround yourself with lifeboat builders.

Short and sweet life happens

November 17, 2010 Leave a comment

For AOS today, I did push to round five and one leg deadlifts are tough, my lifts while on the right leg are OK but my left is horrible and I really felt in my back, this lasts about 18 minutes. For swings I did 200, 100 each arm in sets of ten. That feels a lot different than two handed swings. This lasted 11 and half minutes. Chevelle, Wonder What’s Next did the tunes today.