Here’s a twist on “vampire chicken” a tasty dish by itself. This one uses a pork tenderloin. Pretty simple and pretty good.
To start take your tenderloin and give it a quick browning on all sides. I used some coconut oil on a medium heat.
Once you get a little color on the flesh you can move it to the slow cooker.
In the slow cooker I put a half cup of water, a bit of salt, and some diced garlic. The amounts are scientific and must be followed exactly.
Flip the loin over, fat side down. Grab a knife with your bare hands and slice that sucker open. Grok is down with violence, so I hear.
Now that your victim is open to suggestion, put some garlic in the wounds.
Place the loin in the slow cooker fat side up.
Cover it and let it roll. About 8 hours later the fat should split or crack. This means it is done.
Remove from the slow cooker and enjoy.
For the fringe foodies out there I offer the following, a processed snack or meal depending on your taste. I’m sure it can be made more dogma legal and by all means go for it. Nightshades taste good to me. Here’s how to weaponize them to use against haters from all sects.
You will need:
6-8 strips of bacon
1 block of Neufchatel/Cream cheese at room temp
6-8 good size jalapeno peppers
Smoked sausage (optional)
I like to bake my bacon in the oven, cover a pan with foil and lay out the bacon. Put it in the oven at 375 for about 20 minutes, you should be able to tell if it is ready.
While the bacon is cooking wash and pop the cap on your jalapenos.
Carefully remove the inside of the pepper and the seeds. Do not rub your eyes unless you like pain, then go ahead.
Once you get them cored, set them aside for a few minutes and wait for this bacon to get done.
Take your bacon out of the oven when it’s done. It should appear as shown.
Using your bare hands crumble it to bits. Put the bacon bits in a bowl with the cheese, I added some bacon grease for good measure.
Mix it together until it’s a pretty even mixture.
Grab some smoked sausage if you want, this is optional but tasty. Slice a piece for each pepper you have.
Next we want to slice the peppers down one side and put some of the cheese and bacon into each one, then plug the hole with some sausage, like so.
Once that is done put the stuffed peppers in the oven until they get roasted up real nice. I did 375 for about 15 minutes. I also used the same pan I cooked the bacon in. The sausage is a good timer also, when it’s ready the whole thing should be ready.
Now you have a great snack or meal that you can enjoy if your dogma allows it. In a pinch these can be used as bullets against wicked vegans or nightshade hating paleonazis and should provide ample knockdown at range. NOTE: I used a Motorola Xoom powered by Android Honeycomb to get these pictures.
It’s tough to avoid the sweets around the holidays. Sweets are good but from the wrong place they can wreck your day. Here is a great way to get the fix from a safe source. Apples, specifically dried apples.
For this you will need some apples (I like Granny Smith sour ones), a sharp knife and peeler, some lemon juice, and a dehydrator.
A sharp knife is required, be safe.
Peel the apples, this is optional, I read the skin gets tough so you may not like that.
Once peeled, you need to core and slice. I’m not a pro so the core objective was failed, however I can slice.
Once the apples are sliced to your liking you will need to mix up some lemon juice and water to provide the sliced apples a soak. This is optional and will help keep the fruit from turning brown. The accounts I read suggested a 3-5 minute soak.
After the soak place them in your dehydrator.
After 4-5 hours they’ll look like this and feel leathery. I had some thicker than others and those were softer, the thinner ones were crispier.
They taste better than Jolly Ranchers.
As a kid I hated meatloaf but as I grew up my taste has changed. It is one of my favorites and very primal.
You’ll need a couple pounds of ground chuck, onions, seasonings, and an egg.
I had organic onions and I like red and white ones so I diced up those for this. I also had organic eggs. We wanted sweet potatoes so I bought a few organic ones as well.
It’s pretty easy to make, in a bowl put your meat, diced onions, and spices, and the egg and get in there with your hands and mix it all up. My spices were salt and pepper and some minced garlic, simple basic is always better.
My mom gave us a some canned green snap beans, it is one of our sides.
Line your pan with foil for easy cleanup and put your meat in it like so.
Into the oven at 350 F, for an hour should get you ready. We allowed our sweet potatoes to ride with the meatloaf.
We topped it with the lesser of the evil ketchups.
The finished product was excellent and I can’t wait for leftovers, they will be better, it’s the law.
The following is not 100% #primal or #paleo but it is tasty and can be made easily.
You will need:
4 thick cut pork chops
glass of apple juice (100% natural if possible)
shot glass of honey
2-3 shots of bourbon
2-3 teaspoons of minced garlic
Put all your ingredients in a bowl and stir it up to dissolve the honey.
I like to score my meat before marinating, just a few quick slices with a blade like so:
Sink the meat in the drink and go have a drink.
Put the chops on a grill that is about 350 F.
10 or so minutes later flip them and baste them with leftover marinade.
Another 10 minutes or so, when they done to your liking, remove them and let them rest.
At this point you are done, I served mine with purple hull peas and jalapenos. It’s a bit down home but tasty.
I did this…