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Deadly Nightshades.

March 6, 2011 14 comments

For the fringe foodies out there I offer the following, a processed snack or meal depending on your taste. I’m sure it can be made more dogma legal and by all means go for it. Nightshades taste good to me. Here’s how to weaponize them to use against haters from all sects.

You will need:

6-8 strips of bacon

1 block of Neufchatel/Cream cheese at room temp

6-8 good size jalapeno peppers

Smoked sausage (optional)

Knife

I like to bake my bacon in the oven, cover a pan with foil and lay out the bacon. Put it in the oven at 375 for about 20 minutes, you should be able to tell if it is ready.

While the bacon is cooking wash and pop the cap on your jalapenos.

Carefully remove the inside of the pepper and the seeds. Do not rub your eyes unless you like pain, then go ahead.

Once you get them cored, set them aside for a few minutes and wait for this bacon to get done.

Take your bacon out of the oven when it’s done. It should appear as shown.

Using your bare hands crumble it to bits. Put the bacon bits in a bowl with the cheese, I added some bacon grease for good measure.

Mix it together until it’s a pretty even mixture.

Grab some smoked sausage if you want, this is optional but tasty. Slice a piece for each pepper you have.

Next we want to slice the peppers down one side and put some of the cheese and bacon into each one, then plug the hole with some sausage, like so.

Once that is done put the stuffed peppers in the oven until they get roasted up real nice. I did 375 for about 15 minutes. I also used the same pan I cooked the bacon in. The sausage is a good timer also, when it’s ready the whole thing should be ready.

Now you have a great snack or meal that you can enjoy if your dogma allows it. In a pinch these can be used as bullets against wicked vegans or nightshade hating paleonazis and should provide ample knockdown at range. NOTE: I used a Motorola Xoom powered by Android Honeycomb to get these pictures.

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