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Posts Tagged ‘nothing’

My #Nothing Smoothie Brings Errbody to the Yard.

May 21, 2011 9 comments

I’m not a smoothie kind of guy but my smoothie is way more #paleo #primal than ANY of the other smoothies out there. Through advanced scientific research I’ve removed the very un paleo layer of processing in typical smoothies. With that neolithic layer of processing removed we can advance some more science by letting your own body do the processing thereby infusing the food with #nadatology. This astounding breakthrough in #nadatology is being made available to EVERY PERSON for FREE. Here’s how you can get in on this next generation advanced offer:

1. Put what you want to eat in your mouth and chew it. In this case our research team used organic spring mix, gluten free fajita beef, diced pickled jalapenos, and some extra sharp cheddar.

2. Swallow

3. Wait for the scientific miracle of #nadatology to occur, 6-10 hours is the typical time it takes for the #nadatology to work its melonfarming wicked sorcery.

Here is the before:

I’ll post the after upon request, to get the best possible smoothie you really just need to let #nadatology do the work for you. Unnecessary straining isn’t suggested and can alter the output. You can’t rush good science, people.

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Bitching Moaning Growing

May 18, 2011 3 comments

Job stress, new baby, heart problems. Three big reasons I slipped into a pit of about 50/50 paleo primal eating.

The heart PVCs being number one and having the broadest range of causes. That led me to increase carbs, cut out coffee, and dig in on electrolytes. Increasing carbs went down in the form of including more processed foods and served the other purpose of getting rid of any stress related to me being “paleo enough.” So, for february up until now I pretty much have been eating what I want with no particular dogma attached to it. Suffice it to say I put 5 pounds back on and have had a return of sinus issues.

Caffeine was not a cause or contributing factor, I saw no increase or decrease in the events on decaf or full joe. Decaf fucking sucks. I did cut out salt and have no plan to put it back in, I think there’s enough in everything else.

I’m pretty convinced the biggest factor was stress. Coming to terms with my daughter getting ready to come for a stay and changing jobs have led to a damn near complete stop of the events. Following and listening your heart is no bullshit. Since leaving the assholes of the evil dot com and taking a spot at a dot org I have had ZERO heart events.

I also dropped my kettlebell out of fear of adding stress so my activity level since February has been that of a house cat. Late last year I signed up for the Warrior Dash just to prove I could do it and have some fun. With the life changes I was real close to bailing out and just having a few days in the mountains. A friend of mine urged me to go ahead and do it. So I did. I’m proud of me. I never thought I’d get over that wall and yet I crushed it. I faced neck deep water too and for a grown ass man who can’t swim it’s a big deal.

Now I’m charged up and motivated.  I’ve done about 400 swings this week with no ill effects. This is a sign of things to come.

I understand this post is a bit all over the place but so what who cares? Lots of #nothing to come.

Breakfast of Warriors