Archive

Posts Tagged ‘paleo’

Faileo #Paleo

May 30, 2011 2 comments

I tried to make banana pancakes. They sucked.

Banana Pancake Fixings

I opted for a better breakfast.

Bacon and Eggs

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My #Nothing Smoothie Brings Errbody to the Yard.

May 21, 2011 9 comments

I’m not a smoothie kind of guy but my smoothie is way more #paleo #primal than ANY of the other smoothies out there. Through advanced scientific research I’ve removed the very un paleo layer of processing in typical smoothies. With that neolithic layer of processing removed we can advance some more science by letting your own body do the processing thereby infusing the food with #nadatology. This astounding breakthrough in #nadatology is being made available to EVERY PERSON for FREE. Here’s how you can get in on this next generation advanced offer:

1. Put what you want to eat in your mouth and chew it. In this case our research team used organic spring mix, gluten free fajita beef, diced pickled jalapenos, and some extra sharp cheddar.

2. Swallow

3. Wait for the scientific miracle of #nadatology to occur, 6-10 hours is the typical time it takes for the #nadatology to work its melonfarming wicked sorcery.

Here is the before:

I’ll post the after upon request, to get the best possible smoothie you really just need to let #nadatology do the work for you. Unnecessary straining isn’t suggested and can alter the output. You can’t rush good science, people.

Bitching Moaning Growing

May 18, 2011 3 comments

Job stress, new baby, heart problems. Three big reasons I slipped into a pit of about 50/50 paleo primal eating.

The heart PVCs being number one and having the broadest range of causes. That led me to increase carbs, cut out coffee, and dig in on electrolytes. Increasing carbs went down in the form of including more processed foods and served the other purpose of getting rid of any stress related to me being “paleo enough.” So, for february up until now I pretty much have been eating what I want with no particular dogma attached to it. Suffice it to say I put 5 pounds back on and have had a return of sinus issues.

Caffeine was not a cause or contributing factor, I saw no increase or decrease in the events on decaf or full joe. Decaf fucking sucks. I did cut out salt and have no plan to put it back in, I think there’s enough in everything else.

I’m pretty convinced the biggest factor was stress. Coming to terms with my daughter getting ready to come for a stay and changing jobs have led to a damn near complete stop of the events. Following and listening your heart is no bullshit. Since leaving the assholes of the evil dot com and taking a spot at a dot org I have had ZERO heart events.

I also dropped my kettlebell out of fear of adding stress so my activity level since February has been that of a house cat. Late last year I signed up for the Warrior Dash just to prove I could do it and have some fun. With the life changes I was real close to bailing out and just having a few days in the mountains. A friend of mine urged me to go ahead and do it. So I did. I’m proud of me. I never thought I’d get over that wall and yet I crushed it. I faced neck deep water too and for a grown ass man who can’t swim it’s a big deal.

Now I’m charged up and motivated.  I’ve done about 400 swings this week with no ill effects. This is a sign of things to come.

I understand this post is a bit all over the place but so what who cares? Lots of #nothing to come.

Breakfast of Warriors

#Kettlebell …form is crucial.

April 14, 2011 2 comments

Primal Paleo Awesome Super Great News Get In Now

April 1, 2011 8 comments

I’ve been thinking about all the great things that have happened to me since adopting a paleo/primal way of eating. So many things, wonderful things. I dropped 40 pounds in 3 months, kept it off with no problems too. I want to return the favor. I’m led, with my heart, to do this.

Starting today if you send me 80 bucks in American monies I will email and call you with primal and paleo tips and advice. I’ll even google the free shit for you and forward those links to you. The value is incredible. In a move not too distant from Fight Club, I’m happy to sell your ass back to you. It’d be an honor to be a primal coach with the greats.

As a bonus I plan to do a series of posts on the healing power of paleo and primal living. I’ve have an extensive background in papercuts and stubbed toes. My scientific series on not washing my ass is another mind blowing part of the package. You need to sign up now. It’s a limited time offer. Only subscribers have any hope of getting in on this action. Another amazing part of this package includes  me tweeting  your progress with advanced hashtag technology to drive SEO.

Here is a glimpse into the results you can achieve under my leadership:

Before:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After:

Let’s do this shit people. Let’s get you trained up. You need it. Just look at how fucking ripped I am after 6 months of not eating donuts and cheetos. You owe it to yourself.

Vampires can be pigs too.

March 24, 2011 1 comment

Here’s a twist on “vampire chicken” a tasty dish by itself. This one uses a pork tenderloin. Pretty simple and pretty good.

To start take your tenderloin and give it a quick browning on all sides. I used some coconut oil on a medium heat.

 

Once you get a little color on the flesh you can move it to the slow cooker.

 

In the slow cooker I put a half cup of water, a bit of salt, and some diced garlic. The amounts are scientific and must be followed exactly.

 

 

Flip the loin over, fat side down. Grab a knife with your bare hands and slice that sucker open. Grok is down with violence, so I hear.

 

Now that your victim is open to suggestion, put some garlic in the wounds.

 

Place the loin in the slow cooker fat side up.

 

Cover it and let it roll. About 8 hours later the fat should split or crack. This means it is done.

 

Remove from the slow cooker and enjoy.

 

Take a seat by the fire.

March 19, 2011 6 comments

It’s nothing new and it’s not going anywhere. I thought this thread over at paleohacks was interesting. It shows the types of attitudes within the paleo/primal community. It shows I’m not alone. Here are a couple of excerpts:

I dislike the vegan/vegetarian bashing. There is no doubt vegans are equally, if not more, critical of meat eaters. But as cliched as it might be, two wrongs don’t make a right. I am confident in Paleo being the right approach to health and don’t have the need to feel good about it by being critical of the “heretics”. However, it seems like a lot of Paleo blogs / posts here feel the need to point out the nonsense of vegetarianism, incurring further criticism from the veggie-folks. Feels like we live in Gaza with this kind of b.s.

I’ve seen some misogyny in blogs, but most of it I’ve encountered has been in IRL meetups, mostly from men in the “pickup” community.

I hate the caveman image

btw- bashing vegetarians is a-okay in my book. They get an easy pass for being aholes and need to be knopcked off the pedestal as often as possibel but please know ytour facts before you attack.

All these Paleo-people talking about the low-carb,fruits,IF,CF,The Paleo-lifestyle etc. made my anxiety even worse….I’m now scared of amounts of fat,fruits and certain veggies (like beets,carrots,pumpkin…let alone sweet potatoe!),coconut milk and dairy (though I love sheep’s and goat cheese,which are high in fat too,which scares me). I’m caught in such a horrible thinking pattern

Give it a read, feel free to discuss here or there. My point of view is that it is ok for you try to do better, some blogs/experts will disagree. Once what you eat becomes a religion or weapon to low blow another person, you probably need to move on.